Finding a counselor or therapist in San Franciso

If you Google ‘finding a counselor or therapist in San Francisco’, chances are you’ll get a list of agencies and licensed therapists. You’ll also see many headings that say “Sponsored”. The problem is that doesn’t say much about finding a counselor or therapist that’s right for you, just about finding a therapist or counselor generally.

San Francisco has many attributes; it’s physically beautiful, the ocean is close by, the weather typically milder than other areas of the country. It’s a vibrant, culturally diverse city. Yet, there are many stressors and challenges in living here. You might wonder how you can feel so anxious living in such a magical place. Sometimes the beauty of a place, the sight of the iconic Golden Gate Bridge, and the wonder of the Marin Headlands, can cause someone to question what they have to complain about.

Yet everyone has challenges regardless of where they live, and if yours are impacting how you feel more often than not, and you can’t seem to shake them, it’s okay to want some help with that. How do you go about it, though? In San Francisco, open your front door and you’ll likely trip over a therapist or counselor on your way to the grocery store. So, you’ll have plenty of names. But then what?

I want to help you find a counselor or therapist in San Francisco

People go to therapy for a wide variety of reasons and have just as many preferences about therapists and/or therapy. And just because one therapist is perfect for your aunt or best bud, doesn’t mean they’re a great fit for you.

Here are some nuts and bolts things to think about, including what you might want to work on and what would make a therapist a good fit for you.

1.        Identify the issue. While it’s completely valid to just want to have someone to talk to who isn’t a friend or a family member to sort some stuff out, or to want to feel better than you do, it will help if you can drill down and get specific. For example, you might say, “I just need a job!” or “I can’t stand living here anymore!”, and although your feelings of frustration are valid, they won’t help you get the job or apartment that’s right for you. Some examples might be you’re anxious, or depressed, or you and your partner don’t communicate well, or you want a better relationship with your dad.

2.        Money! Yeah, no one wants to think about this, of course, but it’s crucial to know how much you can afford to pay on a weekly basis. Therapy is absolutely an investment of your time, your money, and your emotional effort. Be honest about your finances. Are you easily able to handle the fee, or will it require you to consider other options. Do you wish to use your insurance? Or can you afford to pay out of pocket and avoid the intrusion of an insurance company? How much can you realistically budget for weekly therapy/counseling? I know for many people, it can be hard to even think about a budget, but it will be a regular, expected expense like your PG&E, cell phone, or rent. No one wants to be in a position of having their electricity shut off, nor would you want to find someone who can actually help you solve some stuff, only to realize you can’t really afford their fee.

3.        Style. And just to clarify here, I’m not talking about how they dress for work. What I mean is more along the lines of personality and way of being. Let’s say you’re someone on the shy or introverted end of things. A therapist who sits back and creates a lot of space may, or may not, work for you. If you’re anxious, you might need a therapist who will reliably create a framework for each session, help you focus. Conversely, you might actually want someone to give you some room, a bit of silence, so you can hear your own thoughts without someone jumping in.

• Do you want to be asked questions, given guidance, and have a set agenda for each meeting?

• Would you rather see what comes up each time, depending on what your week inspired, or what your mood is?

• Do you need more practical assistance in dealing with current issues?

• Do you find you need to understand why you respond the way you do before you can take action on it?

4.        Create a short list. Once you’ve got a rough idea of what you do and don’t want in a therapist – “I need help with anxiety around creative projects, figuring out why I can’t just get on with it as well as some tools to change this. I don’t want to use my insurance. Too much silence makes my anxiety much worse so I need someone who can ask me some questions and not let me flounder” – then start asking around. It’s a very different thing to say “I want a therapist who can help me with __ and has these characteristics” vs “I need to talk to someone”.

• Do you have friends or family members in therapy?  You wouldn’t be able to see their counselor (and likely wouldn’t want to) but their therapist is probably well positioned to offer you one or more names as referrals.

• Google what you’re looking for. For the above person, they might try “therapist/counselor in San Francisco, creatives, anxiety, directive”. Something along those lines. You may have to play around with the words a bit. Then make a list of what names come up.

• Research the names. Most therapists or counselors will have a website or perhaps a directory listing somewhere. Read what they say about themselves. Note any that appeal to you.

• Call or email to set up a consultation if that’s available. Many therapists or counselors like myself will offer a free 15 – 20-minute consultation. In my consultations, I try to get a sense of some of the things I’ve talked about above. I’d want to know what you’re struggling with right now, what you’ve tried before, what would make a therapist or counselor a great fit for you. You don’t need to test drive lots of therapists or counselors, but you might want to do a few consultations, especially if you’ve never been to a therapist or counselor before. That said, if you have a good feeling from the first one you talk to, it’s fine to just go with that and make an appointment. Don’t worry if you feel anxious (or really anxious), that’s totally normal. You’re making an appointment with a stranger with whom you’re going to be sharing important personal information. Who wouldn’t be anxious? But also, don’t let that stop you from getting the help you deserve.

A free consultation with a counselor or therapist in San Francisco

As you can see, finding a therapist or counselor who’s a great fit for you isn’t the same as talking with friends or family. You do deserve to have some outside perspective and unflagging support to help you reach goals that are meaningful to you. I hope my suggestions have helped in finding the right therapist or counselor in San Francisco to assist you in that journey. I’d be happy to schedule a free 20-minute consultation with you to discover if we’d be a good fit.  You can reach me at 415 379-3615.