FAQs about counseling in San Francisco
What’s the difference between counseling, therapy, and coaching in San Francisco?
It wouldn’t be a surprise if the average person has no idea of the differences between counseling, therapy, and coaching. Why would you know that? And you might also wonder what’s the point of knowing if you just want to find someone to talk to and to feel better than you do now? The short answer is some of the distinctions may make a difference to you in who you ultimately choose to see, and I want you to find a professional who’s best placed to be of help.
Starting with the terms therapist and counselor, or therapy and counseling, well, many people use these terms interchangeably. Sometimes it depends on what part of the country you’re from, or what your associations are. Those familiar with seeing a counselor at school, might call their therapist a counselor. Those whose only connection to a counselor is sleep-away camp might call their counselor a therapist.
Some of the training therapists and counselors receive differs, the first focusing more on different theories and techniques to treat various mental disorders. Of course, that doesn’t mean therapists aren’t able to treat clients whose struggles don’t meet criteria for a mental disorder. And counselors often have a broader education which includes training in specialties like career counseling. Of course, that doesn’t mean that counselors aren’t able to help clients who have day to day struggles as well.
What about coaching? In essence, therapists are specifically trained to utilize assessment and diagnosis in helping their clients with mental health issues. Yet, that doesn’t mean they work exclusively with clients who have serious mental disorders. Therapists also work with anxiety, depression, recovering from symptoms from a car accident, ADHD, insomnia, and a multitude of other problems. Coaches on the other hand, do not focus on alleviating mental health symptoms and instead focus on future goals. One of the main important differences is regulation. Therapists must have either a masters degree or a doctorate and have achieved a certain amount of hours (usually 3,000 hours) of supervised experience. They must then sit for a state or national license. The licensing board can investigate any therapist who has behaved in an unprofessional manner. Coaching is not regulated in the same way and although there are schools to train coaches, pretty much anyone could call themselves a coach, even without training
How do I know if counseling or therapy in San Francisco could help me?
Regardless of whether a mental health professional is a counselor or therapist, you want to know if this particular person can help you with problems that are specific to you. Give some thought to why you took this step and what you might like to get out of it. How do you want your life to be different? It’s fine not to have clear or concrete goals. If you’re having difficulty in articulating what’s troubling you, try this. Often mental health professionals ask what we call ‘the miracle question’. If you woke up tomorrow and discovered your problem had been resolved, what would your life look like? In what ways would it be better than it is now?
Additionally, therapists and counselors are trained to listen very carefully in a way different from other relationships in your life, and to then hone in on certain aspects of what you’ve said, frame them in a way that you might not have thought of, and summarize them back to you to see if that’s a fit. It’s a very helpful process to assist clients in figuring out just what IS it that’s not working well.
It's completely normal for clients to intellectually know that therapy takes time, but underneath have a yearning that the therapist or counselor will listen to you spill your story, then make a few magical, amazing pronouncements, and voila you’re all better. None of us have that magic wand unfortunately and although it may be hard to hear, and sometimes hard to accept, achieving good therapeutic results really does take time. You are building a working relationship with someone is initially a total stranger to you, as you are to them. It takes a while to gel. Asking how therapy works is a part of this process.
If you’re someone who has concrete goals and wants homework each session, you will likely feel frustrated with a therapist who encourages you to notice and experience your feelings and has a less structured approach to the 50 minutes. By the same token, if you are having a difficult time in relationships and can’t figure out why that is, having an agenda that focuses only on one clear cut problem at a time without much leeway can feel stultifying and like being in school again. In both examples, it will be hard to form a good connection with the therapist because you’re at cross purposes. And this says nothing negative either about the therapist or counselor’s qualifications or expertise, or your particular challenges and needs.
What if I’m a newbie to counseling in San Francisco? How should I prepare?
So, maybe you’ve taken the major first steps; done some research, come up with a few names of therapists. Perhaps you’ve made an appointment with a therapist. If so, your therapist will have told you if there is any paperwork you need to complete before your first meeting. Definitely take a look at it to see how long you might need to spend in filling it out. It may be only demographic information – name, address, emergency contact information, as well as covering confidentiality and cancelation policies, that kind of thing, but it could also be more involved. Some therapists ask clients to fill out extensive intake paperwork beforehand, some spend the first session doing this, and some have it evolve over some sessions. An intake often involves questions about your personal history, where you grew up, your educational background, who’s in your family etc. so if you’re asked to do it before the first session, you’ll want to allot a chunk of time for this. Also, be aware that depending on what you’re going to therapy for, childhood abuse, or family alcoholism for example, these questions can kick up some uncomfortable feelings. Give yourself some grace about this, just make a note of which questions are hard and bring that information to therapy.
Next, if you find yourself wondering about things beforehand, write them down. Pretty much all questions are welcomed in therapy. Your questions might involve whether or not you should have an agenda for each session, how long people stay in therapy, and how you will you know it’s time to end therapy. It’s a good idea to ask the therapist what will happen in the first session, how it will be structured, and how long sessions are. Therapists and counselors work in different ways so the answers may vary. The most important thing is to check in with yourself; do you feel comfortable enough (recognizing that most clients are pretty anxious in their first session) and believe this therapist ‘gets you’ enough to have some confidence going forward that they can be of help to you.
A free consultation with a therapist in San Francisco
I hope I’ve been able to answer a few questions about therapy in San Francisco and I’d be happy to talk with you to see if we might be a good fit for the challenges you’re facing. Please give me a call at 415 379-3615 to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.
