Questions to ask an anxiety therapist in San Francisco

Ask an anxiety therapist in San Francisco - what do I do now?

Okay, so you’ve compiled a list of a couple of names of therapists in San Francisco but now what? Do you just wing it and hope one seems nice enough and interested in you? Sometimes folks contact me and only ask if I’m taking on new clients and what’s my availability. Let me tell you, you deserve a better fit than simply the fact that I have a spot on Tuesdays at 3 pm.

Ask an anxiety therapist in San Francisco - wouldn’t a good therapist be a good therapist for me?

Finding a therapist is hard enough in San Francisco. You’d think it wouldn’t be, given how many of us there are in San Francisco, but quantity doesn’t have much to do with goodness of fit. If you were buying a car for example, well, there’s lots of cars for sale, but that doesn’t have any anything to do with whether or not it’s the right car for you. You might need a 4-wheel drive for weekend excursions to Marin. Or you might want an electric car. Or a tiny car so you could actually park it in San Francisco (notorious for small spaces and constant construction signs). Why would finding a therapist who’s right for you be any different? It isn’t. So, what should you ask? Before I let you know that, I want to assure you that it really is okay, and it’s actually preferable to ask questions. Your prospective San Francisco anxiety therapist would much rather take you on knowing they’re a good fit for you. It bodes far better for your progress if that’s the case.

Ask an anxiety therapist in San Francisco - what questions should I ask?

·      What are your qualifications/expertise/experience?

There are plenty of acronyms for degrees and licenses. Essentially, you want to know if your San Francisco anxiety therapist is 1. qualified to be a therapist and treat clients and 2. qualified to help you with your particular issues/problems. If someone has a degree or license (or is supervised by a licensed clinician) that’s the first part. You also want to know if their training and experience meets your needs.  Many therapists have had a wide variety of training and experiences both pre and post licensure. If you need the focus of your therapy to be about your recovery process from alcoholism, you might want a therapist whose training included working at a drug and alcohol treatment center.  If you’re struggling with writer’s block, you might choose someone who specializes in working with creative folks. If you and your partner are constantly fighting, you might want a therapist who specializes in working with couples issues.

·      What are your fees? Do you take insurance (if that’s important to you)?

If a therapist takes insurance, generally that information will be on their website or directory listing. They may also list which insurance they accept, if not I suggest asking about this on the phone or in an email. Like with the fee, it’s not a good use of your time to schedule a consult, only to discover that they don’t take your insurance, or you can’t afford their weekly fee.

Some options to consider: 1. You want to use your insurance and only wish to see a provider who accepts your insurance. In this case, I suggest contacting your insurance to find out what kind coverage you have for therapy. You don’t want to choose the best therapist for you only to discover your insurance either won’t pay for it, or will cover a very limited number of sessions. 2. If you can’t find someone who accepts your insurance, you’ll want to widen the net of therapist choices. In this case you can choose a therapist who is Out of Network (doesn’t accept insurance) and ask them if they’ll provide a statement for you to submit to your insurance company. You would need to pay the therapist up front and get reimbursed directly by your insurance company. 3. You are financially able to choose private pay/out of pocket and don’t wish to have your insurance company know your business.

·      What kind of approach do you tend to use?

Ask what approach or approaches they use in therapy. Some therapists may be purists, while others find a combination is best with certain issues. And if you don’t know anything about therapeutic approaches (and why would you?) please ask us!  Lots of approaches use acronyms which aren’t necessarily familiar to the general public, like CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), MBCT (mindfulness based cognitive therapy), ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy), and DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) – and that’s only a few of those acronyms!

·      How do you think about goals and progress?

For some folks, simply the word ‘goal’ brings back awful reminders of school and of striving, maybe of falling short. Which might be why you’re pursuing therapy in the first place! So, this is an opportunity to ask about how your San Francisco therapist thinks about goals. The way I think about it, anything can be a goal. There are big ones like wanting to change your relationship dynamic with your adult son, overarching ones like developing more insight into yourself, and even more specific but not insignificant ones like figuring out how to ask your boss about current workload issues. Sometimes a goal is really a direction. I like to think of therapy like a AAA Roadmap – where are you now and where would you like to end up. Then we figure out the best route to get you there.

Sometimes it can feel like you aren’t making progress in therapy, particularly if you’re experiencing some really uncomfortable feelings. You might have thoughts like ‘Is this worth it?’ ‘How do I know I’m getting better?’ These are great questions to have with a therapist upfront – are there thoughts, feelings, behaviors, insights, that indicate things are improving? For example, someone might still be having arguments with their partner, but those fights are less intense and the recovery time is shorter. Progress is often not linear, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

Ask an anxiety therapist in San Francisco - the idea of talking to a therapist makes me anxious. What if it’s me, not them?

Therapy can be really unsettling if you’ve never been to a counselor before, and of course sometimes even if you have. It can seem very strange to tell your personal business to a total stranger. Any relationship requires some time to develop and gel, but ultimately it should be worth it if you and your San Francisco therapist are in alignment based on their answers to your questions (and please don’t think you can only ask questions before you start therapy), and how you feel working with them.

Keep in mind that if you’re someone who doesn’t trust easily, who takes a bit of time to warm up to people, it will be the same way in a therapeutic relationship. Conversely, if you’re someone who tends to feel a connection immediately but later on feels disappointed, the therapeutic relationship will likely follow that pattern. But take heart, unlike other kinds of relationships, your San Francisco therapist will be aware of and look out for patterns like this and the ways they may present difficulties for you. Try hanging in there, voice your concerns and questions, and see if your therapist can help you shift a pattern that isn’t working so well for you.

Last thoughts from an anxiety therapist in San Francisco

You deserve support from someone who can truly help you. Therapy isn’t just for chatting weekly, it is about reaching your goals and getting real support. I hope this helps you find the right therapist in San Francisco who can help you reach your goals. You deserve to get healing and support. If you’d like to know if I might be able to help you feel less anxious and more confident in yourself and your creative work, give me a call at 415 379-3615 for a free 20-minute consultation.